Thirty years earlier the child knew that something was going to happen, and that the something was all he ever wanted or needed to know, and that it only remained for him to wait for it to happen and to settle for nothing less until it did.
What was the something? Women? War? Or victory in life? Death?
Thirty years passed. He had women, war, and victory in life.
But nothing changed. Thirty years later he knew no more than he knew in Dalhart, Texas, squeezing his legs together and looking at girls.
Yes, but you have just discovered again what you knew all along, that something is going to happen.
But is it not also a surprise that discovering you’ve been dead all these years, you should now feel somewhat alive?
He killed me then and I did not know it. I even thought he had missed me. I have been living, yes, but it is a living death because I knew he wanted me dead.
Am I entitled to live? I am alive by a fluke like the sole survivor of Treblinka, who lived by a fluke, but did not really feel entitled to live.
Ah, but there is a difference between feeling dead and not knowing it, and feeling dead and knowing it. Knowing it means there is a possibility of feeling alive though dead.
Again the past rose to haunt him and the future rose to beckon to him. Things took on significance.
“Tell me the single truth, not two or more separate truths, unless separate truths are subtruths of the single truth. Is there one truth or several separate truths?”
In any event, the historical phenomenon of the Jews cannot be accounted for by historical or sociological theory.