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A Confederacy of Dunces: extracts (45)

“Go dangle your withered parts over the toilet!” Ignatius screamed savagely. “Oh, shut up your little pussymouth, you mongoloid.” “A little job in a office and you can’t hold it down. With all your education.” “I was hated and resented,” Ignatius said, casting a hurt expression at the brown walls of the kitchen. He pulled…

A Confederacy of Dunces: extracts (44)

He dramatically whipped from his pelvis the sheet, flapping it open. Among the yellow stains the word FORWARD was printed in high block letters in red crayon. Below this Crusade for Moorish Dignity was written in an intricate blue script. “Sheet? What sheet!” Ignatius replied. “I am holding before you the proudest of banners, an…

A Confederacy of Dunces: extracts (43)

“We shall storm the office very shortly, thereby surprising the foe when his senses are still subject to the psychic mists of early morning.” “Hey, Mr. R., pardon me,” a man called out from the crowd. “Somebody tell me you in trouble with a po-lice. Is that right?” A wave of anxiety and uneasiness broke…

A Confederacy of Dunces: quotes (42)

“Ain that fine. Whoa! I never go to school more than two year in my life. My momma out washing other people clothin, ain nobody talking about school. I spen all my time rollin tire aroun the street. I’m rollin, momma washing, nobody learning nothin. Shit! Who looking for a tire roller to give them…

A Confederacy of Dunces: quotes (41)

“The problem come from not havin no vocation skill,” Jones was saying to Mr. Watson. Jones was perched on a wooden stool, his legs bent under him like ice tongs ready to pick up the stool and boldly carry it away before Mr. Watson’s old eyes. “If I had some trainin I wouldn be mopping…

A Confederacy of Dunces: quotes (40)

Your total ignorance of that which you profess to teach merits the death penalty. I doubt whether you would know that St. Cassian of Imola was stabbed to death by his students with their styli. His death, a martyr’s honorable one, made him a patron saint of teachers. Pray to him, you deluded fool, you…

Earl King: Poet Laureate of New Orleans

Top-notch music journalism from Geoffrey Himes commemorating the birth of Earl King. The article is populated by the equally excellent Michael Smith photographs. He was living proof that an active, well-stocked mind doesn’t always come with scholarly credentials. “A lot of New Orleans records didn’t have enough bass on them,” King asserted. “You’ve got to…

A Confederacy of Dunces: quotes (39)

As a lecturer Dr. Talc was renowned for the facile and sarcastic wit and easily digested generalizations that made him popular among the girl students and helped to conceal his lack of knowledge about almost everything in general and British history in particular. a confederacy of duncesJohn Kennedy Toolenew orleansphilosophical literature