“Good. Now listen to me. I must come to lecture to you people so that you will be set upon the correct path. I have a rather extensive knowledge of political organization.”
“Marvelous. And you must wear that fantastic costume. I can assure you that you’ll get everyone’s undivided attention,” the young man shrieked, covering his mouth with a hand. “Oh, my dear, what a wild gathering it could be.”
“There is no time to be lost,” Ignatius said sternly. “The apocalypse is near at hand.”
“We’ll have it next week at my place.”
“You must have some red, white, and blue bunting,” Ignatius advised. “Political meetings always have that.”
“I’ll have yards and yards of it. “What a decorating job lies ahead. I’ll have to get some close friends in to help me.”
“Yes, do that,” Ignatius said excitedly. “Begin organizing at every level.”
“Oh, I never guessed that you would be such a fun person to know. You were so hostile in that dreadful, tacky bar.”
“My being has many facets.”
“You amaze me.” The young man stared at Ignatius’ outfit. “To think that they’re letting you run around loose. In a way, I respect you.”
“Thank you very much.” Ignatius’ voice was smooth, pleased. “Most fools don’t comprehend my worldview at all.”
“I wouldn’t imagine so.”
“I suspect that beneath your offensively and vulgarly effeminate facade there may be a soul of sorts. Have you read widely in Boethius?”
“Who? Oh, heavens no. I never even read newspapers.”
“Then you must begin a reading program immediately so that you may understand the crises of our age,” Ignatius said solemnly. “Begin with the late Romans, including Boethius, of course. Then you should dip rather extensively into early Medieval. You may skip the Renaissance and the Enlightenment. That is mostly dangerous propaganda. Now that I think of it, you had better skip the Romantics and the Victorians, too. For the contemporary period, you should study some selected comic books.”
“You’re fantastic.”
“I recommend Batman especially, for he tends to transcend the abysmal society in which he’s found himself. His morality is rather rigid, also. I rather respect Batman.”
“Oh, look, there’s Timmy again,” the young man said. The sailor was passing on Chartres Street in the opposite direction. “Doesn’t he ever get tired of the same old route? Back and forth, back and forth. Look at him. It’s winter and he’s still wearing his summer whites. Of course he doesn’t realize that he’s a sitting duck for the shore patrol. You can’t imagine how stupid and foolish that boy is.”
“His face did appear rather clouded,” Ignatius said. The artist in the beret and goatee passed Chartres, busily following the sailor by several feet. “Oh, my God! That ludicrous law officer will ruin everything. He’s the fly in everyone’s ointment. Perhaps you should run along and get the deranged sailor off the street. If the naval authorities apprehend him, they will discover that he is an imposter, and our political strategy will be undone. Spirit that clown away before he wrecks the most fiendish political coup in the history of western civilization”
— (pp. 218-219).
manwithoutqualities 